7 Easy Ways to Keep Siblings Engaged & Having Fun During Lifestyle Newborn Sessions
Bay Area families reach out to me for in-home lifestyle newborn sessions to document the birth of their new baby, all of the tiny details, as well as new beginnings together as a growing family. When older siblings are involved, they can sometimes be apprehensive about sharing their parents and the shifts that take place after a new baby arrives, which also means uncertainty can arise for kids around photos documenting this time.
I recognize siblings often process this transition in different ways and I always like to start where kids are - sometimes that means giving space or jumping in to play - with or without my camera. I provide extra attention and support to siblings during sessions and educate parents about the ways in which sessions may look different than when simply documenting life with a single baby. Some kids warm up right away, some need time to settle in to the idea, and some just need a little space from it all. Knowing that not all siblings warm up right away to a new sibling or a photographer (a new person and another person distracting their parents), I have strategies I like to use to help ease the tension and help kids warm up. The following are strategies useful for parents and photographers as they think about ways to keep children engaged and having fun during newborn sessions.
Help Older Siblings Feel Special
My goal during newborn sessions with siblings is to make them feel extra special and, in turn, keep them engaged, motivated, and having fun. I always start by coming down to their level, introducing myself, and often share a little gift just for the older siblings. The new baby will be showered with gifts, so this little gesture can be meaningful (and also provides me with some bonus points). It’s usually something simple, like a book, a little car or train, bubbles, etc. I try to bring something based on their interests which I learn about through the pre-session questionnaire and family phone consult. This little gift also often results in kids warming up a little sooner since they have something novel to explore and the added bonus is they see me as a gift giver. Who doesn’t love a surprise gift and someone who brings them?
I know how important it is more parents to capture their children together, so I have to establish buy in from the beginning and help new siblings know they can trust me and that I’m fun!
2. READ THEIR CUES
It’s important to communicate with parents in advance to learn about the older child’s temperament, interests, sensitivities, etc. I find that kids can sometimes act differently than parents expect, so it’s important to read a child’s cues and let them guide the interactions and even flow of the session. For example, I often intentionally address the sibling first when I arrive to a family’s home unless a parent has informed me the child may be shy or may need more time to warm up. I want to respect their needs while also building rapport and connecting. Tuning into their individual needs will lead to a more successful session overall.
3. Follow their lead
Meet the child where they are and go from there. This is how I start every session with babies and children. Maybe this means we do a puzzle or take a break to play in the backyard. Don’t push them beyond their limits and be open to their ideas. I love kids and am genuinely interested in their interests which generally helps kids let their guard down. And, if a child is interested in what I’m doing, I invite them to be my assistant, come up with ideas for photos, and even let them take a few photos with my camera.
And if they aren’t into it, it’s ok. I expect that sometimes and I give them space, redirect to a fun activity, suggest snacks, etc. I always have a general list of photos I want to be sure to capture in addition to what families share with me, but I let go of having any sort of agenda and let each session flow which also leads to natural moments and connections. Sometimes it’s just about being patient and waiting for the right opportunity.
4. Spend 1:1 TIME getting to know the sibling
Take them in their room and ask to see their favorite toys. This is a perfect time for portraits and to document special moments about the older sibling that parents also want to remember. I only do this with parents permission and after it’s clear the child is excited for this. Respecting boundaries is important.
5. Incorporate a child’s interests and talk about the things they love
When you talk to a child about what they love most, you can really get them excited and including special interests makes it much more fun and motivating for the child. Does the child like trains? When sitting on the couch or bed for family photos, pretend like you’re all driving on a train and the child is the conductor. Is there a favorite song the child loves? Turn on some music! This could lead to a fun dance party. Most importantly, it will lead to playful and joyful family moments to hold onto. The real trick is learning these things in advance from pre-session communication in order to come prepared.
6. Be silly
Children love silliness and this can be a great way to break the ice. Make silly faces, make up silly songs/ words, and go for the potty humor (if parents are ok with this). It works EVERY. TIME. I always encourage families to be silly and bring on all of the play during sessions.
7. Talk to them about what it’s like to be AN OLDER SIBLING
Don’t just keep it all rosy. Really listen. Ask what is great about it and ask what makes it hard? Like all of us, children want to be heard. And when you feel heard, you feel connected.
Why does any of this matter?
When children are calm and engaged, parents naturally are more relaxed. Newborns feel all of this positive energy too. Newborn sessions should be a relaxed and meaningful experience for all family members, so that when you look back you feel the authenticity, love, and your connections reflected in your photos.
Bonus: Games to Encourage Sibling Connection
Count babies fingers and toes
Use stickers to gently place on the baby’s hand (which can easily be hidden in photos).
Smell baby’s head or feet to see if they’re “stinky.” This generally leads to laughs.
Ask what kind of animal does baby’s hair feel like? Soft like a bunny?
Wrap the baby’s finger around theirs so they can see how strong the baby is.